Friends

Believe it or not, but over the course of my life I have struggled in the area of friendships.  Yes, a nice young lady like me!  It’s not that I have trouble keeping them.  It’s making them that is the problem.  Well, problem is such a strong word in this context.  I’ll say making friends is a challenge for me.  See, I’ve always known what type of people I want around me–even as a little girl.  I’ve always known that some people will not add to my life, and others will subtract.  It’s amazing how I knew that because my parents never taught me that.  I mean, pretty much all they told us about friends was watch who you hang around.  Anyway, as some of you know, I recently discovered that I am stubborn!  Of course as I look back over my life I can see it now, but sometimes it’s a good kind of stubborness.  Anyway, so as a child and even now, if you do not fit my friendship criteria, then there is very little hope for you developing a meaningful relationship with me–like one of my best friends.  I had NO desire to be friends with her, at least not on a deep level. I loved hanging out with her, and we had tons of fun, but as far as her being someone in my inner circle…absolutely not.  Now of course, it took some years for me to see that she was becoming one of my best friends, but without certain situations happening and a LOT of spiritual growth on her part I’m not sure where we’d be today.

So, I can count on two hands how many meaningful relationships I’ve had in my LIFE.  However, I proudly announce to you that I’m finally in a period of my life where I can say that I truly have friends in my inner circle.  Finally I have people who are ride or die friends.  I have people in my life that I can go to when I am in need.  I have folks that will give to me even when they don’t have anything themselves.  It almost brings me to tears to think about!  Where have these people been my whole life?  Why has God waited until now to answer my prayers?  Yes, I have been praying for these types of friendships ever since I was a little girl.  I don’t understand why this has always been an area of struggle, but just like other areas of my life, I REFUSE to believe that God allowed me to experience this and other things for no reason!  I REFUSE!!  God is too smart and awesome, and I am too nice and soo good to believe that God is preserving me to just to say that I’m a good person and my life is so nice.  No way!  That may be good enough for some people, but not for me.  I know God has big plans for me.   I have to believe He does, because if I don’t, then I’m not sure–to be honest–how long me and GOD are going to remain friends.  Can I just keep it real?!

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