First of all I can’t believe it’s been exactly 30 days since I last wrote! Well, yes I can because I don’t write consistently lol, but I guess it’s because I’ve been meaning to get back on here soo many times to say soo many things and never did. Anyhoo! Second of all, I can’t believe it’s the first of February! What the heck?! I feel like I should be like on day 17 of the Daniel Fast or something. Sheesh! Time flies EXTREMELY too fast these days. Next thing you know I’ll be married with children! I mean, of course I don’t have a problem with that (LOL), but you know. Anyway, just had to get that out! Now on to the subject at hand….
If I’ve ever borrowed something from you, whether I asked for it or you gave it to me, you’ve probably noticed that despite how much you tell me it’s not necessary to give it back right away I am very adamant about getting it back to you–and right away! I don’t care if it’s something as nonsignificant as a #2 pencil! I will hunt you down like a deer until you get it back! I think that’s one reason why I give things away. I would rather give you something then let you borrow it because I typically demonstrate the same behavior I’d like to receive. I don’t like to bother people, and if I let you borrow something I’ll probably bother you! lol, but anyway, the fact of the matter is that I do not like to hold on to things that do not belong to me. Why? Because it doesn’t belong to me! I know that sounds fairly simple and kind of dumb, but that’s pretty much it. I don’t want to be responsible if something happens while I’m in possession of whatever because, after all, it doesn’t belong to me.
So, I was walking to my car today going back to the office after lunch and I thought about this concept of not holding on to stuff that doesn’t belong to me. I am now responsible for some business transactions, and I currently have someone else’s money on me. I was calculating and making sure that I have everything I’m supposed to give her when I was thinking about how I’m so intentional about getting people’s stuff back. I felt like God called me out. You know how you can have a whole entire conversation in your head in like 3 seconds? It was kinda like:
“You’re right! You SHOULDN’T hold on to things that don’t belong to you…that includes EVERYTHING,” God said matter of factly.
“Everything,” I asked innocently.
“Everything! That’s material possessions, money, time, PEOPLE,” He replied.
“People? Now wait just a…,” I said with a slight ‘tude.
“Yes, people,” He interupted.
MAN did I get checked on that! Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about folks!! You know how it is…you like someone, and you would really love to be in a relationship with them, but you don’t really know (or care, quite frankly) if it’s really a good idea (the RIGHT idea!). So, this person keeps lingering in your thoughts–living rent free in your mind–just reeking havoc in your life! “I like her SOOOO much…I wonder if he’s thinking about me…I wonder if she’s even interested…what do you think he meant when he said that…I wish she would give me a sign…dear God, please make him come talk to me….” You know all that craziness we put ourselves through! True, some of that is just nerves, but sometimes you KNOW that the situation isn’t right or won’t work from the jump.
Often times we are so quick to be great managers of other people’s things, but when it comes down to people we all of a sudden get clingy! You know how people (esp. in the south!) might say, “let me hold it,” when they want to borrow something from you? As a grammar geek I can’t STAND that statement, but I know what they mean. However, I’ve noticed that typically when someone asks me to “hold” something, that typically means there’s going to be a period of time involved. It may be a few hours…days…weeks! You know, some folks like to “hold” your stuff so they can floss it (I mean, flaunt it :-)) for a while as if it were their’s. They want the temporal pleasure that comes with owning it before they actually possess it. We do the same thing with people! God knows all the relationships we’ll ever have (all kinds: friends, romantic, business, etc.), so would you say it’s safe to say that there are people that He never intended for us to get hooked up with? Why is it always these people that we want to “hold” on to the most? Why do we always want the temporal pleasure of being connected to/associated with these people?? Are we like trying to borrow status from being mentioned in the same conversation with them???
So what do we do?? Recognize that these people are not and will NEVER be in your life–and don’t try to weasel their way in either! Give them an eviction notice, and do not keep conjuring them up in your mind! Don’t hold on to things that don’t belong to you!!! Why do I keep saying they don’t belong to you? Because they don’t lol! But seriously, I like to think of all of the people whom I am in relationship with as belonging to me. Not that I own them of course, but they “belong” in my circle. So, for example, you might hear me refer to someone as “mine” (i.e. “my Tatum” or “my Reggie”) because they belong to me in my life and in my circle of relationships. Before I said that there are some people who we are never meant to be connected to. So, in essence they do not “belong” to us because they were not designed to be IN–like the Verizone network lol. So, they are not in, they will never be in, and most importantly they belong (or will belong) to someone else. The Don’t mess up someone else’s blessing because of your own selfishness, pride, ego, etc.
When you come across people like this, or you start to feel yourself going “there,” do how I do with people’s money and stuff: do what you have to do with it and give it right back! Don’t be rude, and still speak to them. Say hello, not “how YOU ‘doin” like Joey from Friends LOL. Engage in the cordial small talk and leave. Don’t give in to the temptation to linger around and engage in more conversation. Do what you have to do and give them back! Don’t hold on to stuff that doesn’t belong to you!