Re: Friends

…I proudly announce to you that I’m finally in a period of my life where I can say that I truly have friends in my inner circle.  Finally I have people who are ride or die friends.  I have people in my life that I can go to when I am in need.  I have folks that will give to me even when they don’t have anything themselves.  It almost brings me to tears to think about!  Where have these people been my whole life?  Why has God waited until now to answer my prayers?  Yes, I have been praying for these types of friendships ever since I was a little girl.  I don’t understand why this has always been an area of struggle, but just like other areas of my life, I REFUSE to believe that God allowed me to experience this and other things for no reason!

This is an excerpt from my October post entitled “Friends.”  I wanted to circle back on this to share some revelation on my part.  The main question I asked was why now?  Why wait until adulthood to give me the types of friends I’ve desired my whole life?  The answer is plain and simple:  I need them NOW!  God is hilarious to me.  It’s not that I didn’t need them before, but I really need them now.  The things that I struggle with, I could not imagine going through life without being able to talk to someone.  It’s so nice to be able to talk to someone who is either wiser than me, more experienced than me, and/or really just cares to lend a listening, non-judgemental ear.  One of the biggest things for me lately has been financial.  It seems like I’m in a constant state of catch up.  I’ll be fine for a while, then something expected will come up which throws everything off, and then once I get paid a couple times I’m straight again.  Sometimes it’s just stupidness on my part while other times I really could not help the situation.  It is SOO refreshing to have friends who are able to bail me out when I need it!!  Yall don’t understand!  Until now, everyone is my circle was just like me:  constantly broke!  As a matter of fact, a lot of time I’ve been the more “well-to-do” of the bunch.  I know that sounds nice, but if you knew my situation then you would know I was not a huge deal in the least!  But anyway, I think that’s what makes it hard for me to ask my current friends for help.  I’m so used to people not being able to help me, so why ask?  However, after several “heart to hearts,” (more like them commanding me to not struggle in silence anymore!  lol) I’m learning how to be more open about it.  But not just money of course…anything!  They desire to get to know me as well, so that makes it easier for me to open up.

I love my friends, I appreciate them, and I definately do not want to go through life without them!  I’m glad they are in my life NOW  because I honestly do not know if we would still be friends if I would have met them earlier.  Not that we would have fell out, but I’m not sure if I was truly ready for that caliber of people then although I thought I was and that’s exactly what I wanted.  It’s amazing how you think you’re ready for something when you’re not.

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